2012. FROM FINLAND TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE – ARE FINNISH AND RUSSIAN SAUNAS DIFFERENT?

 
 

THE CRAZY FINNS!



Helsinki

It is official the Finns are crazy! Of course if they are crazy then Joanna and I are even crazier! Wait, Joanna is a Finn, so it means I am the one who is crazier than the Finns. It is a heavy duty statement so I better have a logical explanation. Hear me out.

We left Cincinnati in search of a bearable climate in which we could spend our vacation. Gone were the 100 degree (36+ C) days with 90%+ humidity. We arrived to paradise; 72 (20 C) degree and sunshine with a mild breeze. So what did we do? We went down to a basement, women and men together, took off our clothes (that was the good part) and went, literally butt naked, into a small room, where the temperature was deliberately kept at 75 C (167 F) and sat on a bench, like birds on a wire, only arm's length away from some hot stones. And if this had not been enough, one of the crazy Finns started pouring water periodically on the stones, making the air hotter and harder to breath. Meanwhile another one was telling us a joke that went like this: "Do you know how a crazy Brit defined the sauna experience?" Of course I had no clue and I was literally dying to find out, so he went on. "It is like a real serious car accident. The only difference is that you come out of it unhurt!" He chuckled, apparently he found his own joke real funny, while I was thinking; "really, I would get out of here alive?" And then, I was let out of the oven, only to find out that now I had to go swimming in a shallow pool filled with nearly freezing water! The weird part is that I actually loved it!

I also have to mention the strange paraphernalia I found in the sauna room. In other parts of the world people use place mats under their plates when sitting down to eat. The Finns invented what I call butt mats. It is supposed to have the shape of your butt, and you place it on the seat, not on the table, before you sit down on the bench in the sauna chamber. The mats I saw were big enough for nice Texas size butts. The holes on the mats were placed on the wrong place; suggesting that the designer was anatomically challenged. See picture below.

I tried of voiced my opinions about the sauna culture to one of our friends in Helsinki who is a member of the Finnish Sauna Society.  I just wanted to find out why a whole nation is torturing itself almost on a daily basis. Here is what she said: “Just imagine, you can go swimming in an ice hole” – I tried to imagine that and the horror probably distorted my otherwise fine features. But she went on: “Your system is actually exposed to the worse possible conditions, extreme heat followed by extreme cold. Your blood is boiling like sparkling wine!” That was as good of a reason to subject your body to torture as I could possibly have hoped for.

I do love sauna, unfortunately we only were able to enjoy (torture ourselves) twice during our short visit to Finland.

I had the pleasure to be invited to Joanna’s niece’s wedding. It was the second wedding I saw in Finland, and again I was not disappointed. The bride and his three best men were donning kilts, just to be different.  And they were! The groom was wearing a beautiful dress designed by her sister. The minister was leading the wedding ceremony with speeches in Swedish and English. One of those ordinary, run of the mill weddings!

 

Then we walked from the church to a small house where a delicious buffet waited for us, or rather where we waited for the buffet to open. Food should not have been served for another couple of hours according to plan, but apparently others must have been hungry as well, for we got to eat an hour ahead of schedule. And it was worth the waiting! According to customs, there were speeches by just about everybody. Swedish, Finnish, English and Spanish were the languages of choice of the speakers. So the first weekend flew by rather quickly.

This being my fourth or fifth visit to Finland we ventured out to the country side to see Joanna’s childhood friend who keeps Icelandic horses. 

Again, nothing special, Icelandic horses are common in just about any part of the world! Or not.  They have this very special additional gait that is called tölt. Iceland forbids importing other horses in order to preserve the purity of this special  breed.  She is in the process of restoring her beautiful farm house. It was amazing to see how well the old farm house accommodated a modern kitchen and bathroom, yet still preserved many of the rustic elements that make a farm house so charming. And what wonderful mushroom pie and lemon tart were served at the old kitchen table! We enjoyed the good food, watched the peaceful countryside and listened to the silence that was only disturbed by a mild wind and the occasional sound made by the happy horses gracing around. We then decided to visit some other friends at the nearby town, about 30 kilometers away. We could not turn down a dinner invitation especially when they told us that the sauna had already been turned on just for us. We did not mind to stay for the night in Lovisa. 

We got an excellent tip how to get there quickly; instead of taking the main road which looked like a 40 minute drive, we took a short cut. Or at least that was what we thought! I started to become suspicious as soon as the asphalt disappeared from the road and we were driving on a narrow dirt pass in between the trees. And the road constantly split and we never knew which direction to take. I owe a big thank to iPhone and its GPS, that guided us through the dense woods of Finland. About two hours later we were literally out of the woods and arrived to sauna heaven! Nothing like Finnish food and sauna after a long and treacherous drive.

Next day we drove back to Helsinki and had the good fortune of seeing a special exhibition of Joanna’s favorite Finnish painter, Helene Schjerfbeck.  It was a real treat, especially in light of some strange events that occurred just a week before our trip. A good friend of ours visited us at our house and gave Joanna a book. James used to be an exchange student in Sweden years ago and he still speaks excellent Swedish. He went to the public library a few days earlier where they were selling some books that the library deemed unnecessary. Knowing Joanna’s mother tongue being Swedish, a book caught his eye; the works of Schjerfbeck written in three languages. He picked it up for practically nothing and gave it to Joanna. The book was not unknown to Joanna, because it was co-authored by her ex sister-in-law. She always wanted to have it, so now she was pleased to receive it as a gift. She was surprised to see it in James’s hands, but she was even more surprised when she opened it and found the following inscription: “To Jim for his magical work” signed by Joanna’s ex-husband! Apparently he gave it to a friend as a present.  I guess some people don’t appreciate gifts! At least the rascal donated it to the library, but they did not want it either! So now we have the book and we got to see the exhibition as well.

So after all these boring days we decided to spice up our trip by going to St. Petersburg, Russia. 

TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE! Will follow.